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What made you stop being an addict?

Last Updated: 18.06.2025 07:25

What made you stop being an addict?

There were times I was counting the days when I'm clean. But now I don't, because I got tired of counting and relapsing and starting all over again.

I remember I once did it in my classroom at dawn. I did it in the hospital's washrooms. I did it in the lab where I work; both daytime and midnight.

Now how do you quit your addiction?

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And I DID IT EVERYDAY

I went there early in the morning trying to watch a movie and I found the CD inside the video player so I decided to watch what was on it and that was the beginning of the life I never wanted.

I just finished watching the best of the best p*rn videos on the planet. Now there's nothing else to look for on p*rn sites again.

Why do I feel worthless most of the time?

So I thought had unlocked a new potential in life. I was doing it even if I don't feel the urge. I forced the urge to come by watching pornography.

Around age 9 I discovered pornography through my uncle, he had left the CD in the video player in the night after enjoying himself.

A couple of months later I started hating it and regretting after every session. Yet, I couldn't stop.

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I knew something had to be done about my wasting existence because if nothing changes, then nothing changes.

Now I know I have all the nice videos on my phone, the rest I don't have, are not nice. So I had to start watching them one after the other. Some of them were even 2 hours long but I made sure I watched every little bit of it.

RUN 🏃‍♂️ for your dear life

What seemingly minor decision or moment in your past ended up having a massive impact on your entire life trajectory?

Read that again ☝️

I didn't even start counting the days because I didn't really believe I would get this far.

Have I stopped seeing girls as sex objects? Not entirely, I still want to f*ck some of them.

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Now I don't wait to be talked to before I respond. I talk when I think I'm supposed to.

But how was I going to do it when everything I knew wasn't working? I didn't know

All I knew was that, I couldn't masturbate without p*rn. I was first getting the urge to watch p*rn, while watching, I would now feel like masturbating.

Is the saying "nice guys finish last" true? Can good intentions always lead to positive outcomes?

I knew about masturbation but I didn't actually think of doing it but one day, on my bed when I was preparing to go to school I was watching pornography and something just came in mind; why don't you rob your dick with your hand?

I started rubbing it and I liked how I was feeling so I kept on doing it faster and EUREKA, sperms came out of my dick.

Oh, and everyday I woke up tired 😫 I never slept early too. My mental health was nothing to write home about.

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I secretly kept on watching and watching until I got 19. At this time, I had started feeling the urge to ejaculate as I was watching the pornography.

Do I wake up everyday with lots of energy? No but that's because I have a health problem, which is a story for another day.

Just keep trying

Would you let your son wear leggings to school?

Was quitting worth the effort? At least for my mental health, it's a billion times worth it.

No self esteem. No confidence. No ambition. Just dreams.

Am I totally free? I don't know 😕

What is the irony of life according to you?

I did it in my administrator's office.

The harder I tried, the worse it became. I could get angry with myself and go about 3 days without it but when I relapse, I can do 3 in a day. And the subsequent days; it's just me getting drowned in the rabbit hole.

I got tired of always breaking the promises I made to myself.

Why am I attracted to older men?

It took me days to finish watching them. Finally I decided to go to the washroom to do The Last Fap.

I always wished they would sit inappropriately or the wind would blow up their dress so I can see things.

And I can also talk to them now.

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Remember, if nothing changes, nothing changes.

Is masturbation and p*rn bad?

I did it while watching my sister. I did it while touching my sister 😭 I did it while watching my landlord's daughter.

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So I'm still hanging on this lie.

This was February 2019.

So all I had to do was to find a way to trick my dirty brain to think that p*rn isn't nice.

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I so badly wanted to f*uk a girl, yet I was so shy of girls. I never wanted to meet anyone. I always wanted to hide behind the phone and text.

Now I have the mental fortitude to face life's every day battles.

There were times I could go 3 months without watching p*rn or masturbating but somehow I always came back to it.

Why do Puerto Ricans come to this country flying their flags over in the United States all over their cars? They're so proud of their country. Why are they here?

I went on my favourite site and started scrolling through my favourite categories; petite girls, sleeping girls, Japanese girls, Japanese mom, Japanese wife, massage, forced, in the bus, gangb*ng, Muslim girls, ebony, student and teacher, in the classroom, curvy, African, etc

I did it in my room. I did it in my washroom. I did it in school in the washrooms.

It didn't feel great after ejaculating but hey, who cares about feelings?

Im not transphobic/homophobic but, am I in the wrong for being uncomfortable when a trans person comes into the lockeroom? I just dont want them to stare at me while Im changing.

But for me, I would say RUN away from it

I made sure I downloaded every video that was nice for me. This took almost the whole day.

I saw every girl or woman as a sex object including kid girls. There was no way I would look at a woman and not think of f*cking her.

And these were just the act and not the mental and social problems associated with addiction.

I remember sitting on the bed and smiling and that was when it hit me that I have successfully masturbated.

I don't know if all addictions are like this 🤔

I know some people masturbate and they don't have the problems I went through.